30 things you would like to say/do at WORK

1. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
2. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
3. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
4. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
5. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
7. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
8. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
19. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
22. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
23. How about never? Is never good for you?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
27. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
28. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.