Top Ten Things A Department Store Santa Doesn't Want To Hear From Kids

10. "Remember me? I'm the kid with the weak bladder" 

 9. "You smell like supermarket gin" 
 8. "The real miracle on 34th Street would be if they
 accepted my mom's MasterCard" 

7. "I want a 2018 Tesla" 

 6. "Oh, by the way, if I don't get an X-Box,I'm gonna 

hunt you down, old man" 

 5. "I'm Jewish" 

 4. "I love you Kenny Rogers" 

 3. "Frankly I'm just here to humor my parents" 

 2. "While I'm talking to you, my mom is shoplifting blouses" 

 1. "Mom says you're my real daddy"