What MA taught me

My mother taught me…GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me…RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me…LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me… MORE LOGIC 

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, don’t coming running to me."

My mother taught me… FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me… IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me… about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!

My mother taught me… about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me… about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me… about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me… about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me… about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me… ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me… HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me… TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

And my favorite: My mother taught me… about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

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