Political Science for Dummies Part Two... Corporations Explained

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have
TWO COWS,
but you don't know
where they are.

While ambling around,

you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and find you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

INDIAN CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS. You worship them.

BRITISH CORPORATION
You have TWO COWS. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ****
out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.